HAPPINESS IN A RELATIONSHIP
In the beginning, we are on cloud 9 or better, when it comes to a relationship. As time goes on, we find ourselves wondering what happened to that initial feeling. Actually, nothing happened to it, except that it grew up….
The problem lies in the fact that people are addicted to that high, that passion, that rush they feel in the onset of a relationship, and, as the months and years go by, they feel cheated and in need of a fix. That is one reason so many people cheat. They need that feeling…
The initial overwhelming feeling of a new love is exhilarating, and, it is consuming. There are few in the world who have ever kept that feeling alive during the entire course of their relationship, it just doesn’t work that way. That doesn’t mean that it is not there, it just settled a bit or more, that we can get on with our lives together, on a realistic foundation…
This is one reason to make sure you keep the fire burning. This is one reason to be your best, totally. This is one reason to keep fantasies of each other going. We have to work at keeping interest paramount that we might keep the passion intact…
Couples who act out their fantasies together are usually happy, for they have allowed each other to express and live what they most desire. There is a balance to be had here as well, as some people, given the opportunity to express their fantasies might go way beyond healthy and normal, but, this too can be dealt with, if you have open communication…
Always remember why you chose to be in a relationship with the person you are with. This is the basis of reality check. Granted some people change, and they might change dramatically over the course of time, if this is so, then you now need to decide if the love is worth the effort. If not, you know what to do… If so, then, it is time to get back into each other. This requires effort and desire to make things right…
Keeping love and heat intense requires openness and fairness and even some changing. If you really love someone and each of you have gone in different directions, either in life or in passion, then someone has to do something to get back on track. Which might mean that either both or one of you might have to change some personality traits or actions around a bit. If it is real love and worth keeping, the effort will be well worth it…
For instance, your partner loves to go out, you do not. There is great tension created in such situations, for you are what you are. This is where sacrifice and effort come into the picture. You do not want them going out on their own, they think you are boring. So, the best way to handle it is to make a deal, such as, you will go out with them once in a while, if they will not go out on their own. It is compromise and sacrifice, both of which are effective trouble shooters.. Another example, he likes strip clubs and such, she is totally against him setting foot in such places. Alternative? Buy some costumes, lingerie, props, dance instructional videos, and practice, baby! Give him shows he’ll not soon forget, make him see that he doesn’t need to set foot in such places. Give him reason to understand why he has everything he needs right at home…
Compromise and sacrifice, communication and openness, each will help you to find common ground on which to stand. Each will better enable the other to live that which lives within without causing distance or pain….
Except in unusual or defeated relationships, happiness is just an effort away. All you have to do is to decide what would make you and your partner happier, talk about it, act upon it, and, you will have grown to another exciting level of love. It is up to you, either effort or more distance. The choice seems clear to me…
