A New Year is upon us, and, many of us are in relationships which have withstood another year of trials and tribulations. Congratulations for this, as relationships, especially in these uncertain times, are very difficult to maintain, or to keep interestingly alive…

In the coming year we will be exploring all the different ways one might keep the love flowing, and, the passion burning. You know, and I know, that there are millions of ways to do so, but, often when we think we want to do something unique, hot, or different, we draw a blank. Why this happens is a great mystery, but, it does, indeed happen…

Routine is much to blame for the troubles in relationships. We need routine and it is greatly a part of our lives, still, we fall into a rut, especially when we are very comfortable within the bounds of our relationship. No one is really to blame, it just happens, and, when it gets to be a rut the size of the Grand Canyon, we are sure to have some problems along the way…

Even breaking up the routine will take some routine to get it going well. For instance, date nights for couples; usually this is on Friday or Saturday night, which if you do it once a week, bi-weekly, or monthly, will become routine, soooooo, what can we do? Try to keep it from being a repeat of the last date night; such as one time go to a local club for dancing, one time go to dinner and a show, one time book a room at a premium rated hotel, one time go and have some fun, like playing pool, skating, or whatever you both like to do…

Other ways to shake up the nights is, after you make sure that after all the kids are gone to sleep, to slip into something sexy, and seductive. Perhaps give each other a massage, read to one another, watch favorite programs or movies, or many other options are at the top of your imagination…

Men should play as active a role in creating change and intrigue as well as women. You could take turns planning such nights, even down to the lingerie, clothes, or whatever. It should be inspiring, sensuous, and, fun for both. Neither person should feel obligated or pressured in doing anything they don’t want to do. So, you should sit down and discuss possible options, making sure to relay what makes you happy or not; that way it is going to happen more smoothly and will be much more exciting for each of you…

There are games you can play with one another; such as strip poker, dance chess, or any other game. Simply define some rules and go with it. I like playing cards and chess, and, each time my partner or I lose, we have to dance, each time removing one essential piece of clothing. It is fun, silly, and, very stimulating…

Don’t forget, laughter raises the sexuality of a person quite high, especially if they are laughing about the same thing; it is a shared time which makes the bonds of a relationship even stronger…

So, you see, here are just a few ideas and ways mentioned to keep the fires smoldering. I will be bringing to the forum as many as I can think of and discover, and, I am sure that in applying some, or most of them, that you and your partner will be all the closer in the coming year…

Happy New Year and keep it soft and sexy; may it be a great year for rediscovering what brought you together in the first place…

Family, friends, lovers, and even strangers, provide much of our Holiday attitude. Also, those crabby shoppers whom just ruin so many days as they are impatient, rude, and, just angry about having to stand and wait their turn, or they don’t like spending money… You know what I am talking about. I try not to let these sour people spoil my moment ever, but, you know, around Christmas, there are quite a few of them, all distempered, causing trouble everywhere they go… Anyway, they do affect what should be a wonderful time, but, not for long, for as soon as they are gone, we look forward to those who make us happy, and, with all we have to do, our minds are beyond that scene quickly…

I reflect much around the Holidays. I consider the past year; the mistakes, the failures, and all the wonderful times. Then, I am eagerly looking forward to the New Year like that is a fix all… We all do that, as if some magical process begins with the ringing of the New Year chimes… Ha! It is funny in retrospect, still, it is human nature and we play upon it magnificently…

At the stroke of 12 on New Year’s Eve, we forget all about the past year, and, look expectantly towards the new year. We are sure that we are going to get that big break, that our business is going to grow beyond expectancy, that our love life will flourish, that enemies will become friends, that we will achieve all which we choose to… Yes, it is exciting, and a bit unrealistic, but hey, it provides inspiration, drive, and, renewed vigor, plus, it keeps us busy through the rather stagnant winter months…

I have my whole future planned out, which begins after Christmas… Hahaha… I love it! It just seems that in this magical season that anything is probable, and, it fires me up to no end. I am at my best come the New Year. I do not make resolutions, rather goals and aspirations, as to me, resolutions are set ups for disappointment, whereas goals and aspirations are a foundation for motivation…

It is a strange human condition which leads us to believe that one particular hour can change our direction, isn’t it? However, it is rejuvenating, it is refreshing for the mind and spirit, and, it actually can spin out some creative ventures, which will see results, so, it is not entirely in vain…

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and, a fun filled Holiday season. May you feel the magic of it, embrace it, raise it up in a toast, and, use it to your greatest advantage in the coming year….

It is the Holiday season, Christmas will be here in just a few short days, and, I hope it is a wonderful one for all who celebrate it, and, for the rest, Happy Holidays…

It is in this time of the year when we begin to reflect the past year, with its many contributions or failures to our lives. We then look forward to a new, even fresh start, like a day (New Year) is going to make the difference, still look forward to it, we do.

One thing which should be considered when reflecting on the past year, or planning the New Year is that priorities need to be in place. This is so important for many reasons, one of which is that our personal relationships and the time they take to nurture them, should be on the top of the list. Also, we do not want to make plans which alienate those closest to us, especially our spouse or significant other, for they are a part of the whole…

My people are top priority. Without them, I would be less than I could be, for it is them who keeps me real, it is them who feeds my drive, imagination, and, they are also my support system, so, to lower their priority would be to lessen the impact of my accomplishments…

While we should do that which we love to do, while we should strive for as much success as we can muster, we should first consider, or, even include those closest to us, for they are also going to be affected by our decisions. They may also have to make sacrifices, therefore, they should be aware of all details surrounding our plans. In doing so, we are keeping the lines of communication wide open, and there will be no surprise setbacks from this sector of our lives. When all is well in our personal lives, then what we do outside of the home will flow all the easier…

Prioritizing is optimal for success in any realm. We must make sure and honorable decisions which will manifest only good and growth, as opposed to making bad decisions which will foster resentment and discord. The whole purpose of life, as I see it, is growth and achievement. When we have created dissension of any kind, the whole process is less than satisfying. It can be rectified, but, why not simply plan your advances in the light of positive energy in the first place that you are not slowed or stagnated in the process?

Relationships, whether personal or not, require honesty, effort, and to a large degree consideration, as well as open communication. Even in our business dealings, open communication is ultimate to our overall success…

Building relationships, personal or otherwise, should be based on integrity. Honor and integrity should be synonymous, as they are the most effective tools when dealing with people, period. When we have integrity, we honor those around us and their wishes, which will rarely lead to any negative interactions…

Effective prioritizing is essential to fulfillment in most areas of our lives. Respect, honor, and, integrity will greatly aid us in building lasting, workable relationships on every level, plus, it will establish reputation, which without, we are just another person trying to make it. Having a solid reputation is one of the best silent marketing devices we could possess, either in our personal lives, or, that of a business nature, as it indicates that others have trusted us with their hearts, lives, dreams, desires, and with their best interests. Plus, it means that we have established ourselves as someone who has enough wisdom to know that priorities are intelligent decisions which are based on principle first, and, for gain last….

I am in the company of men frequently, so, I have the opportunity to pick their brains a bit, and, to find out what they like most about women… Some of their answers are so typical that I just smile knowingly, and tell them that men are funny, predictable creatures; which they are, although, they are each different as well…

Ask men what they consider sexy and they usually give you a body feature. Then when you ask them besides body parts or features, they will tell you the way she carries herself. I then ask if they mean the way she carries herself as a person, or as a sexual character, to which they respond, “I suppose both.” Hmmmm, interesting..

Then, I will ask, “So which is more important, the characteristic of sexuality, or the personality itself?” Most guys will tell me that it would be nice if they were balanced. I then ask, “What if a woman doesn’t possess a sexual character, or if that character is not evident?” They say that this is not their kind of woman. Again, interesting…

It seems to me that an awful lot of men are involved with, or married to women who do not seemingly posses a sexuality of any sorts, but, since I am not directly involved, that is mere observation, so… Now, I do know some men who tell me that ALL women are sexy and beautiful. I can kind of relate to this, but, having known so many uptight prudes in my time, I have a hard time imagining that they have any sensual characteristics at all, but, I am a woman, and, cannot quite see from a man’s point of view…

I am sure you have all met those women who are so prudish that they are cold. Their lives do not seem to have much use for sensual pleasure. They would rather not see, hear, or talk of such things, and, they are impatient with people who are openly sensual…

Men’s favorite body parts or features? The lips, the breasts, the butt, the legs… Some mention hair and eyes, but, such are after the obvious favorites. And, just for the record ladies, their idea of a good looking body are way different than ours, though they sometimes correlate with ours… You know what I am talking about: the girl who seems shapeless and kinda plain, yet, all the guys she comes into contact with are like, “She is so hot!”… We are like, “Really?” “Yeah.”, they say… Hmmmmn, I just don’t see it… Oh well, what do I know, I am not a man…

As I have said before, sexy is attitude. It is confidence, and, the men I have talked to about this subject, which I do frequently, really love a confident woman, ESPECIALLY if she is attractive and dressed to entice. By that I do not mean slutty, I mean she knows how to dress to attract and hold attention. A certain style which captivates, along with a sense of how to hold that attention, and well, men are going to think she is hot…

In conclusion to this discussion, I would like to say this; we cannot change the way men see women, we cannot change their ideal of sexy, we cannot change what their ideal woman might be,and, vice versa, so, if you are lucky enough to have a man who feels that you are his ideal woman, and who finds you attractive, even beautiful, then, to me, it would seem that he deserves some healthy doses of sensuality to keep him ever intrigued, and, to keep him always wanting you. When we give, we get. When we feed the fire, we get heat. When we go beyond expected patterns, we create inspiration, and, when he is inspired, he is happy. When he is happy, so are we. Whatever it takes to keep the love alive and well is what it takes. Settling into dull routine can cause rifts in any relationship, but, when we make fantasies come to life, with mentality, clothes, hair, makeup, lingerie, or what have you, then routine melts away, leaving both wanting for more, which is an optimal way to live as a couple….

Every single person would probably have a different ideal of what sexy is. Most would say that sexiness is an external attribute, and, while that is appealing, that is not where sexiness derives from.

I believe that external sexiness is useful for sure, but, it is temporary gratification. There are certainly, people who are internally and externally sexy, which is amazing. For the most part, people are either internally or externally sexy.

Internal sexiness is what it is all about. Some of us are born with this quality, others have to develop it. I feel certain that it lives within each person, but, that it is stifled for some reason, perhaps due to conditioning, or to lack of interest in this area. However, if you are internally sexy, that is a great advantage in the realm of relationships and love, for it makes the effort of keeping a partner intrigued and interested, all the easier…

What is internal sexiness? Good question. It is the nature of sensuality in a persona. It is the quiet storm. It is the flint which causes sparks without much effort. It is a confidence of being attractive, seductive, and, prowess of captivation. It is a smooth assurance, a strong presence, and, a lingering effectiveness….

A person who is sexy from within leaves a trail of mystique, an air of desire, a motivation to acquire, and, a taste of satisfaction where ever they go. They do not have to try, it is a honed essence of their being, and, some of them aren’t even aware of its presence in their being. But, those who are aware of it, can further develop it to the point of being devastatingly sexy. Looks, of course, help, but, really play no role in sexiness from the internal being. There have been many not so attractive people in appearance who were devastating in their sexiness…

Sexy is an attitude of allure, a mesh net of seductiveness, a brick wall of compelling personality. It is an air of can do, will do, and leaves you wanting more…

Yes, by all means, use your external being to provoke sexiness. Dress it in lingerie, certain fashions, accessorize it, and, make it unforgettable, but, at the same time embrace that inner sexy; use it to your greatest measure, it will be much to your advantage, leaving others to wonder just what it is that you possess which leaves them so curious, with a feeling of being defeated, and, uncontrollably wishing for more…

People in relationships spend so much time worrying about how to keep love alive. While it is human nature, it is debilitating to the relationship.
If we could learn to flow with love, we would be better off. If we could simply learn our partner and their ways, then what we have to do to keep them intrigued would be all the easier.

I stress this often, friendship is imperative in any relationship. When you are friends, there is greater knowledge of one another, greater understanding of each others ways, and, more tolerance of things which we do not care for. Without friendship, the relationship is simply a bunch of feelings, which have nothing or little to root to. Friendship is that root which allows love to blossom and grow beyond time expectancy.

Ask any couple who has been together for a long period of time and they will tell you that they are best friends. Being friends with the one you love is building a foundation which will not shift with life.

When we have friendship in our love relationships, it is easier to flow with time. We have each other for support, encouragement, compassion, and many other factors which increase the love itself…

Without friendship, we have passion, which is not a bad thing, but, if that is ALL there is, it often dies, as it has nothing to feed it, and, while sex and physical love are needed in making a relationship, it surely is not a strong enough foundation to build on. Some who were initially attracted by physical desire have survived, but, that is because they ultimately became friends in the process.

Relationships are tough, especially in the hands of time. People over analyze the effects of time. Instead, they could be spending that time finding ways to keep romance and attraction alive and well. It need not be viewed as a chore, rather as a nurturing, especially if they are in it for the long haul.

Let’s say a man and a woman have been married/together for 20 years. They have gone through a lot together. Their minds have changed many times in these years, their spirits have changed, and, their bodies have changed.

Many people who are aging decide that they are not sexy anymore. Please! Sexy is not just about body, it is an attitude and using that attitude! It is about confidence from within which will shine without! It is something which cannot be touched, but, which makes your partner want to touch you!

Being sexy does not have to involve showing the body. It is better to showcase the body in certain ways; this is another usefulness for lingerie. Lingerie and showcasing should be synonymous. We do not have to show lots of skin in order to look sexy.

When a person is confident and secure in their womanhood/manhood, there is a natural sexiness which is present. Add to that some allure, such as a lovely satin robe with a seductive gown beneath, hair and face in place, some accessories, and the right timing; well, no matter what age, she is going to be hot to her mate. It doesn’t matter if she is hot to you or me, all that matters is that she is hot to her man, and, he to her.

We cannot limit ourselves when it comes to appeal to our mate. We also, cannot limit our mind to believing that others would laugh at us, are they gonna be there? That is silly, that is lack of confidence, and, it is wasting precious time.

Embrace your attributes and use them wisely. If you don’t look good in something, find something which will look good on you. If you find that certain something which creates fire, then use it every so often, this will keep that relationship ever grounded, and, it will have both of you smiling, which will have everyone wondering why you are so happy after all of this time…

Now it would seem that, so often, it lies on the woman to make things better in a relationship, and, many times that is true. The assumption that women should do this, or that, might not seem to be fair, which, perhaps it isn’t, however, it is like this; we are usually the more assertive and the more mature in said relationship. This too, can be confusing, as men seem to have the upper hand, especially if they are, well, dominant, but, you know, and I know, that men are pretty much what they are, period. Yes, they have lots of room for improvement in many areas, but, let me put it this way to explain this dilemma: mens fantasies work overtime…

When a man feels that his woman is cold, or that she does not try to be all which she could be, that fantasy mode can become so heightened that he will begin to view his relationship with said woman as a comfort zone, but, his mind, eyes, and even body, might be very busy, due to the fantasy world which he escapes to… Even if a man truly loves his woman, if she is not as receptive or even, attractive as she once was, or could be, he will begin to withdraw into a world where, if he stays too long, might be very hard to beckon him back from…

There are those that would say that if a woman has to play out roles to keep her man, that he is exploitive of her, and, that if he isn’t satisfied with her as she is, then he is not worth the time anyway. This is, in my opinion, rather narrow minded. These same people might say that to make a woman feel like she has to make herself more attractive to keep the fires glowing is narrow minded and it might be, but, when we are dealing with a man’s psyche, there are many areas which are not going to correlate with a woman’s mentality or understanding, and, since women are the more flexible of the two, it seems to fall on the woman to keep love alive in most respects. Unfair you say? Rubbish you say?

This is exactly why relationships end up in dire straits. Over critical thought control. I don’t know about you, but, when I really love a man, I want him to want me, in every facet. Now, if that means that I take on the role of glamor girl, or sex kitten to keep him intrigued, keeping his thoughts of fantasy in my realm, then I will do so. Not only that, I like the game of enticement. It is challenging and fun. There is an art to seduction, especially seduction over time span, and, it is necessary to most relationships.

It need not be kinky or overly done. As I said, it is an art form. French women and Italian women are like this from a young age, they just have the art of seduction down to where it is never an issue or a dilemma, they just do it, and, while it might not be 100%, it works more than refusing to participate for the sake of feeling exploited, which, in my opinion, is stubbornness, and, will just create more problems.

Why can’t men do the same for us? Well, from my own experience, if you let a man live out his fantasies with you, you will find that he is willing to bring some interesting and pleasurable sides of his personality to the table, which is a win/win situation. Men love to role play as much as they like it from their woman, they just need permission of the silent kind to make it happen, they need the openness of their lovers mind, spirit, and, sensuality in order for them to bring their sensual character to the forefront.

All I am saying is that when a woman takes the initiative to please her man; when she goes beyond the norm to keep him in a state of desire, then, he too, will come to life with returned inspiration, and, in a marriage or a relationship, this is all good…

So many people these days are struggling to keep their love alive. Too many are dissatisfied with their partners for many reasons, one of which is, that the combustion seems to have dwindled to the fire of a match.

This can cause problems in many other areas of a relationship, for the result of colder times is, withheld feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, insecurity, and other similar feelings of unworthiness…

Resentment seems to be the number one result of having a cool relationship. Sadly, it takes two to ignite or distinguish the fires of love. Still, each partner will blame the other for the lack of romance…

If I were in such a position being in a cold relationship, I would find ways to relight the fire. I would first rebuild the relationship on friendship, that the feelings of resentment have time to melt a bit. Secondly, I would flirt in every way I could, as unobviously as feasible. If there was a spark of interest, I would take that as a sign, therefore taking it to the next level. I would make sure that I looked great at all times, and, that I used my personality to re-attract my intended…

Without being overly obvious, you could implement lingerie into your mornings and nights, and, gradually add more and more suggestive pieces into the nights. Like in the beginning, you could don a satin, flowing robe with a nice chemise beneath; making sure that you looked your best in the morning. In the evening, you could wear a robe with a beautiful gown beneath, making sure that the robe is open that he might see how great you look. Of course, attitude has much to do with how you represent this new attempt at looking irresistible… You must act out the part of being the seducer, as subtlely as feasible…

Reconnecting is a matter of someone making the first move. If your love means enough to you, you will find ways to make it happen. This is one area where couples fail. Each are too stubborn or even embarrassed to make the first move after time has allowed distance in their relationship. That is a mistake, for it can only lead to more troubles and more insecurity…

There is an age old question worth mentioning here: Would you be happier with or without this person in your life? That should be the deciding factor here. If you decide that you would be much happier with them in your life, then, measures need to be taken to assure that they will, indeed, remain in your life. Do not let foolish, even childish stubbornness or spite last, as it will increase the wedge, making it all that more difficult to get back on track.

I know for sure that if you don’t do something, love will become more and more stagnant and you will eventually drift so far apart that it might be more than difficult to regain a level of shared love…