Your Own Body—Get Over It

Beneath The Silk - With Amber

Let’s face it, Hollywood has successfully invaded the mistakenly deep recesses of our mind and has planted in it the idea that wearing a size 0 jean is normal. Anything over size 4 is overweight, and if you’re a size 9 or higher, you’d better nix any ideas of becoming a model. So, of course, women—we can even include men in this, although the instances are less—try to find every single trick in the book to shed extra pounds, consumed with the idea that they’ll be sexier, look younger, and increase their attractiveness for their partners.

Unfortunately, I’ve got news for you. Not everyone is a size 0 jean naturally. For most of us, looking the way Hollywood actors and actresses look would involve practically starving ourselves and wasting at least a third of our lives in some kind of crazy exercise position.

If you’re curvy, embrace it. You can look sexy WITHOUT feeling like the fish in your aquarium—starving and waiting desperately for that specific time when someone allows you to eat. The key is confidence and self-esteem. We’re so convinced curves are the blight of the earth, yet would you really want your significant other to fear snapping you in half if things get a little rough in bed? That kind of tension can completely detract away from any sexual atmosphere you’re trying to create—you’d be so focused on not crushing your partner, you’d completely miss any of the sensations involved with sex. And then, we all know that’s just not any fun at all.

Now, you ask, how can I increase my confidence in my body with all these ads and shows depicting what they consider the “real woman”? First, get rid of the idea that you can squeeze into those size 2 jeans when you’re really a size 7. Yes, it’s good to perhaps buy a size smaller if you want to lose a few pounds—that gives you incentive to actually lose the weight. But dropping that much weight when you already go to the gym and eat healthy? Trust me, it’s not going to happen (unless you suddenly discover an aversion to all food). You want to really drive your guy—or girl—wild? Don’t wear something that’s going to squish everything in ways it was never supposed to be squished. Find something to accentuate your curves—or muscles, for you guys. Buy a piece of lingerie that shows off your hips and breasts, instead of something that acts more as a sheet—this is just going to hide all of those things men—or women—crave to touch. Leave the lights on or light some candles when you make love, instead of demanding to turn off the lights. We all know that as you age, things start to move around without your consent, but wanting to hide these changes not only makes you uncomfortable, but it also makes your partner uncomfortable. He or she signed up for the entire ride; you’ll still be sexy to them even at 60. On top of that (pardon the pun), actually seeing your skin caressing the skin of your partner can vamp up the sexuality in the room, changing your relaxing night of pleasure into something completely outside of the norm. Embrace difference. You’ll find it’s much more interesting than the typical.

Second—and this is important—get over the fact that you’re not as small as those actors and actresses on TV. Did you ever notice how most people in Hollywood can’t keep a marriage together for more than five years, if they’re lucky? Maybe it’s because—hmm—they’re so worried about their public image, they can’t stop thinking about it for more than five minutes. Rejecting what you’re naturally born with isn’t the brightest idea; you’re always going to be more likely to notice your shortcomings, rather than reveling in your perfections. Doesn’t sound very healthy, does it?

Third—the most important one yet—obviously your significant other loves you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be with you. Following this seemingly infallible line of logic, it would be just as logical to say that they think you’re perfect. SO WHY CAN’T YOU? The things YOU may consider flaws are the things that make you that much more sexy and amazing for your partner. So give it up, and get over it—you’re stuck with the body you have. You can change it slightly—lose a few pounds, get into shape, become an overall healthier person—but get rid of these unrealistic ideas of replacing your body with a supermodel’s for the sake of sexiness.

Sorry, girls, but stick-skinny just isn’t real. Curves are in. It’s your body—so, please, get over it.

Tags: Dating, lingerie, love, making love, marriage, relationships, romance, sex, sexiness, sexual, sexy, sexy lingerie, valentines | Comments (0)